Song Credits:
- Original song: http://www.nicovideo.jp/watch/sm24151600
- Produced by Nashimoto-P: https://vocadb.net/Ar/553
- English subtitles: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A62qy6QWTnY
- Typeset and translated by Dropkick Subs: https://twitter.com/DropkickSubs
- Off-vocal: https://piapro.jp/t/TCFB
- MIDI (for vocals): http://gpvox.dyndns.tv/diary/1377
Resource Credits:
- vocal synthesis software: https://dreamtonics.com/synthesizerv/
- voicebank: Kasane Teto AI (Lite)
- mixing and adjustments: https://www.audacityteam.org/
- subtitling: https://aegisub.org/
- video editing: https://ffmpeg.org/
- midi editing: http://www.midieditor.org/
Lyrics:
(compare with the original here)
maere jawaani meN ka GHam jo tha
puurnima pe bhi takliif diya
maere jawaani meN ka GHam jo tha
wo uupar ki manzil se kuud gaya
shahar ke paas ek maedaan meN aaya
aadhi raat ko sigareT piine ka maza
dhuwaN sawaar kahiN behte gaya
aor duur ki bhavishya meN aa pahuncha
chhat pe khaDa huwa maeN, shahar ko dekha niiche,
gharoN ka chamakna, lage sitaaroN jitne
ek din aayega kabhi, banunga aesa maeN bhi,
KHayaal tha aesa, haN yaqiin thi aesi
KHushi mili kya tumhe? raazi ho kya tum aese?
aaine se puuchha chiiKHte chillaate huwe
KHushi mili kya tumhe? awaaz bujhaadiya wo-
-guzre din ka maeN
maere jawaani meN ka GHam jo tha
manzil kho chuka jhijhakta huwa
sardi meN chhaagaya raasta maera
aor hosh meN bhi nashe jaesa chalne laga
charcha jo tha baDoN ka, kal ki zindagi ka,
kitna bakwaas hae ye, baDi hiqaarat se kaha
wo naadaani meN, aesa jawaab tha kaafi
par aaj dekho to wo kal aa chuka hae...
KHushi mili kya kabhi? raazi ho kya aese hi?
aaine se puuchha chiiKHte chillaate huwe
KHushi mili kya kabhi? hasa maeN zabardasti
wo guzre din ke tum
wo bhaDkiile rang, se bhare, sapnoN ke baare,
meN bakte gaye, be rangiin, ko rang se bhare
jaesa ki bas Duub na jaaye, bas ki saaNs na TuuT jaaye,
kisi haal lage rahe
chhat pe khaDa huN ab maeN, shahar ka manzar niiche,
gharoN ka chamakna, lage sitaaroN jitne
ek din aayega kabhi, banunga aesa maeN bhi,
KHayaal hae kuch aesa, haN yaqiin hae na aesi?
charcha jo tha baDoN ka, kal ki zindagi ka,
kitna bakwaas hae ye, baDi hiqaarat se kaha
wo naadaani meN, aesa jawaab tha kaafi
aesa hi Thiik hae na, ye hi hae jawaab maera
KHushi mili kya tumhe? raazi ho kya tum aese?
aaine se puuchha chiiKHte chillaate huwe
KHushi mili kya tumhe? awaaz bujhaadiya wo
guzre din ka maeN
jiine ki hae tamanna, ya marne ka iraada?
aaine meiN ka shakal, sar jhukaata hae
KHushi mili kya tumko? pata nahi hae mujhko
phir bhi hae hukm KHud ko: zindagi jiyo!
jab tak na mare,
jab tak na miTe,
tab tak dam na ruke
(For more general info on phonetics, transliteration, translation, etc. please see the
notes attached to my Bad Apple cover.)
Transliteration notes:
t th d dh = त थ द ध = دھ د تھ ت (respectively) (Urdu is left-to-right here)
T Th D Dh = ट ठ ड ढ = ڈھ ڈ ٹھ ٹ
kh KH = ख ख़ = خ کھ
gh GH = घ ग़ = غ گھ
q = क़ = ق
N = anusvaara/chandrabindu/nuun-e-GHunna
Oh? What's that? The random capitals in between make it 'difficult' and 'confusing' to read? Well screw you, this is a 100% bijective transliteration scheme achieved on a standard keyboard, and it's beautiful. You can pry it from my cold, dead hands.
Translation notes:
There are a few words that are spelt and pronounced differently despite the great phoneticity of indic scripts, like 'shahar' pronounced as 'sheher' or 'pahunchna' pronounced as 'pohonchna'. Maybe this is a dialectal thing, I'm not sure. Either way, in these cases, I've kept the spelling here for a literal transliteration, rather than the pronunciation.
I slightly disagree with the supplied translation here, I think it's supposed to mean 'on the night of the full moon, my melancholy gave me pain' (given the locative case marker 'ni').
But I am still not sure what the significance of the full moon is supposed to be here, so this was a difficult line to interpret and translate.
I chose to interpret it as 'despite the bright moonlight, it was painful', in which case I think 'purnima' is a good translation since it carries auspicious connotations. Although I must confess I mainly picked it because it was a short and convenient word for 'night of the full moon', which was otherwise very cumbersome to fit the syllables to.
Also, given my 'uppercase=retroflex' convention, ण should really be 〈N⟩. But I'm already using 〈N⟩ for nasal vowels, so in the transliteration I've ended up using 〈n⟩ to merge ण and न. Good thing they never contrast in Hindi. (Ditto for श and ष, which should technically be 〈sh⟩ and 〈S⟩ respectively.)
No idea what the significance of 'northern park' is supposed to be. I assume the idea is about going to a quiet, somewhat remote and picturesque place to clear your head, which hopefully I captured with 'a field near the city'.
'hairaito' was translated as 'highlight', but I feel there's also a good chance it refers to the cigarette brand 'hi-lite'. Maybe it's a pun? Eh, whatever.
'yura yura to' refers to an unsteady, wobbling, wavering motion. Prima facie the best translation for this would be 'laDkhaDaate huwe', but to me that feels like a more forceful rocking motion. Hence, I went with 'jhijhakta huwa', which technically means hesitating or vacillating, but here I feel like it conveys the sense of wavering or faltering, which fits the context.
Despite being a native speaker I don't have a good command of ideophones, so for the word choice here I'd like to credit/cite this work.
I'm not sure who's walking like a drunk, 'me' or the asphalt, so I tried to keep the ambiguity.
'KHushi mili kya tumhe?' basically means 'are you happy now?' and kind of sounds like the sort of thing your mom would say sarcastically after you broke something. But here I'm using it in the sense of 'have you found happiness (yet)?' or 'did you (ever) end up finding happiness?'
Also, this phrase is supposed to repeat exactly, but I slightly reworded it because the exact repetition sounds a little off when translated.
'hiqaarat' is to look down on something, to consider something inferior.
'bakna' to mean 'rambling' does seem out of place and too informal here. But hey, cut me some slack, I couldn't find a better way to translate it within the given constraints.
I also could not find a good way to translate 'chaining words together', so I just sort of changed that line entirely. Woops, sorry.
Regarding 'omotteru daro': if this was for the 3rd person, the sense of '-daro' could best be conveyed with a sentence like 'wo aesa kuch soch raha hoga, na?'
But for the 1st person (and also to do it in less syllables) it's a bit tricky. 'hoga' also denotes past tense, while 'omotteru' is present progressive. So I tried to get the sense across using constructions like 'aesa kuch' and 'hae na?'
'ikitai/shinitai desu ka?' means 'do you want to live/die?' I am aware that 'marne ka iraada' means 'plan to die', which nontrivially changes the meaning a bit. But this way I get to make a reference to a classic Hindi song, so it's cool.
Literal re-translation:
the sadness I had in my youth
it was painful even on the night of the full moon
the sadness I had in my youth
it jumped off from the upstairs floor
I came to a field close to the city
the fun of having a midnight cigarette
riding the smoke, I drifted away somewhere
and found I'd arrived in the distant future
I stood on the roof, looked down on the city below
the sparkling of the houses, seemed as numerous as stars
someday a day will come when I, too, become like that
this was what I felt, yes, this was what I believed
did you find happiness? are you content like this?
I asked the mirror, screaming and yelling
did you find happiness? he extinguished his voice-
-the me from that day
the sadness I had in my youth
lost its destination, wavering, unsteady
coldness cast over my path
walking like a drunk despite being conscious
the grown-ups' raving chatter about the life of tomorrow
what nonsense, I said with great derision
in that naivete, such an answer was sufficient
but if you look at today, it seems like that tomorrow has already come...
did you ever find happiness? are you content like this?
I asked the mirror, screaming and yelling
did you ever find happiness? I forced myself to laugh
the you from that day
would go on and on about those dreams full of garish colours,
turning the colourless colourful
as if just trying not to drown, as if just trying to save your breath
somehow keeping at it, at any cost
I stand now on the roof, the vista of the city lies beneath
the sparkling of the houses, seem as numerous as stars
someday a day will come when I, too, become like that
this is what I must be feeling, yes, this is what I'm believing, right?
the grown-ups' raving chatter about the life of tomorrow
what nonsense, I said with great derision
in that naivete, such an answer was sufficient
it's okay just how it is, this is my answer
did you find happiness? are you content like this?
I asked the mirror, screaming and yelling
did you find happiness? he extinguished his voice-
-the me from that day
do you wish to live? or do you want to die?
the figure in the mirror bows its head
did you find happiness? I still don't know
and yet, I have but one command for myself: live life!
until I die,
until I am erased,
until then my breath will not stop